Students who repeat what others say
(Question asked during seminar)

Teacher: I've got a student who just says what another student had just said whenever I call upon him. What should I do?

Well, maybe we should start by being thankful that the child is: 1) saying something; and 2) paying enough attention to the lesson that he knows what other students are saying. That makes the score, at this point in the game, 2-to-nothin' our favor. And although this kind of response behavior is not good for long-term success, we shouldn't overlook the silver lining to this storm cloud. Maintaining a balanced view of student behavior enables us to truly help students improve their interactive skills.

Unfortunately, correcting a "mimic" is predicated, in part, on figuring out why the student is relying upon others to provide him with a response. Is it a language issue? Does it have to do with confidence or self-image? Has he been ridiculed in the past when he's offered his own responses? Or is he just a lazy dog looking for the easy path? Not knowing makes it difficult to prescribe a solution. (As I've mentioned before, one size does not fit all.) Nonetheless, I'm willing to give it a shot.

First and foremost, you need to act on the behavior. Just talking about the problem won't do you much good. (At least at first. Later on, when the student discovers that what you say is what you mean, your words will have an impact.) And in order to act, it would really help if you had some kind of documentation that showed how many times the student repeated the responses of others. Since students are adept at denial, having a simple record will help you to avoid a lot of wasted time saying, "Yes, you do," to every "No, I don't."

One easy way to record repeated responses is to write an R in the student's space on a seating chart whenever the student offers what someone else had just said. It's easy to do--assuming the seating chart is kept on a clipboard--and helps to assuage the feeling of helplessness in the face of repetitive non-compliance. Writing an R is action and also sends a message to the other students that you won't just put up with inappropriate behavior.

The other method is to use a set of index cards--Class Cards--with the names of your students on the cards. Using cards to call upon students to respond will enable you to easily record an R on the student's card to indicate a "repeated response." Either strategy will provide you with that all-so-important documentation you can then share with the student privately at the end of class.

Teacher
Showing the seating chart or index card to the student during a private conversation:
See all these R's?

Student
Not sure where this is going:
Yeah.

Teacher
Those are all the times you gave me a response that another student had already given. Now, I'm glad you are responding and glad that you are listening to your classmates. However, you need to be able to come up with your own opinion.

Student
Denial mechanisms fully engaged:
But people always say what I was going to say.

Teacher
With a smile:
That certainly happens some of the time. I'm not so sure it should be happening as much as we see here.

Student
Not one to give in easily:
But they do!

Teacher
Modeling calmness:
Calm down, please. I'm just trying to help.
Pausing briefly:
Hey, I have an idea. Maybe I should call upon you first so that you have a chance to share your opinion before anyone else does. That way we'll know it's really your thought and not someone else's.

Student
Now realizing that his denial gambit has not only failed but has been turned against him:
Uhhhh. Yeah, I guess.

Teacher
Sincerely:
Good. I'm glad you agree.
Pausing briefly:
Let's do this. I'm going to draw a line under all of the marks on your card and write today's date. That will remind us both that we talked about this issue and that I'm going to try to call upon you to be one of the first responders.
With a smile:
Thanks for helping me solve this problem. See you tomorrow.

Something to bear in mind: The problem is not going to be fixed overnight. It's going to take weeks of attention and probably a few more personal conversations. Nonetheless, with the documentation making the case and the teacher keeping things positive, the mimic will eventually learn to stand and deliver.

"Good question" versus "Thanks for asking"
(Email question)

Teacher: I know you like to say, 'Thanks for asking,' when you interact with students. Does the statement, 'That's a good question,' send the same message?

First of all, I'm careful not to overuse "Thanks for asking." If I did, it would begin to lose the authenticity it needs to maintain significance. I mainly use it when I want to reinforce that the question that was just asked is a safe one to ask. This helps to create an environment in which students feel free to ask questions. (See Chapter 3: The Top Ten Things I Say in the book Eight Great Ideas.)

Secondly, I can see how "That's a good question," would send a positive message from the teacher that helps to encourage students to ask questions. I just have two little reservations. Concerns, if you will.

"Thanks for asking," has more to do with appreciation for the student who asked than the question itself. A small point, I'll grant, but a point in favor of the oh-so-critical student/teacher relationship.

My other concern is the implied message lurking behind, "That's a good question." Even if it's not stated verbally, the fact that there are bad questions is being communicated quite clearly. Add to that all of the students who are somewhat disappointed to not hear, "That's a good question," in response to the one they had just asked and you might begin to question the wisdom of saying, "That's a good question."

Just something to think about.

Student numbers in middle school
(Conversation during seminar break)

Teacher: It took a long time to get student numbers working in my room but it's now worth all of the effort. I can't believe how much easier it is to keep everything organized.

Glad to hear it. And, yes, it does take time at the secondary level. You don't have what I always had: one group of students all day. You've got multiple groups that you see for short periods of time. That means that you've got five to six sets of numbered students. Not easy to keep it all straight at first but, hey, that's alright. You've got all year. What's the rush?

Just take your time and slowly build a system. (See the entries on page 2 entitled, "Secondary students putting away books in piles" and "Hanging file basket for middle school.") Before you know it, things will be starting to click.

And don't forget: The students should be doing most of the work of collecting and organizing assignments for you. This will not only help to reduce your work load but will provide them with meaningful ways to experience that all-important student need: power.

The enabling mom
(Question asked during seminar break)

New teacher: I have a student who is very impulsive. He doesn't stay on task, wanders around bothering other students, and has a tendency to blurt out responses during discussions. I think part of the problem is his mother. Whenever she comes to pick him up from class, she says to him--but loud enough for me to hear--something along the lines of, 'Trevor had a good day today, didn't he?' Even though he didn't, Trevor usually nods his head. Mom then gives me a big smile and they both leave. What do I do?

Besides being thankful that you don't have to live with Trevor, there's a big thing you need to do. You need to introduce Trevor and his mom to reality. And I'd start the next time she comes into the room to pick up her son.

Teacher
With a smile:
Could I talk with you for a minute?

Mom
Not sure why the teacher wants to talk but wanting to look agreeable:
Sure.

Teacher
Heading to a table:
Let's all sit over here. Trevor?
Pausing for Trevor's attention which is never easy to get:
Come join us please.

Trevor sits down next to his mom. Mom turns to Trevor for their daily dose of denial.

Mom
Turning to her son:
Trevor had a good day today, didn't he?

Trevor
Nodding his head at this predictable cue:
Uh huh. I sure did.

Mom
I'm so proud of you.

Teacher
With a calm surety of purpose:
That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
Turning her attention to Trevor:
Trevor, I want you to think about your day and give yourself a score from 1 to 5. A 1 means you had a bad day; a 2 is a not-so-good day; a 3 is an okay day; a 4 is a good day; and a 5 means you had a great day. What score did you think you earned today?

Trevor
Not one to think for himself but knowing what Mommy wants to hear:
A 5!

Teacher
Calmly:
A 5 means you had a great day.

Trevor
Yeah. A 5.

Mom
Ever hopeful:
Way to go, Trevor.

Teacher
Still addressing Trevor:
I wouldn't give you a 5.
Pausing to make the point:
I'd give you a 2.
Another brief pause:
You didn't have a very good day, Trevor. You wandered around the room a lot and bothered other students while they were trying to work. You also spoke out of turn during most of our lessons. That's not good and needs to change.

Mom
Wanting to look as if she's actually in charge:
Trevor. What did I tell you about this kind of behavior? Is this how you're supposed to act?

Trevor
Having memorized his lines:
No, mom. I'm sorry. I won't do it again.

Smoke and mirrors. Promises and lies.

Mom
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
Turning to the teacher as she tries to wrap it up and escape:
Thanks for letting me know.

Teacher
Not budging from her seat:
Well, Trevor has told me in the past that he will improve his behavior but I haven't seem much progress. Let's meet briefly at the end of each day so that Trevor and I can share our 'scores' for his day. I think that will help a lot.

Mom
Still in denial mode:
I don't know if I can stop in every day.

Teacher
Not giving in:
I can always walk him to where you are parked if that would help. It will only take a minute to share scores.

Mom
Finally accepting reality:
Sure. We can do that.
The facade starting to crack:
Come on, Trevor. Let's go.

I think one of the long-term advantages of this type of interaction is that Trevor will eventually learn to give himself a more accurate score. A more accurate score would be indicative of Trevor's growing sense of self-appraisal. And being aware of your inappropriate behavior is one of the first steps to correcting it.

The second advantage is that Mom will no longer be able to deny that her son has issues with which everyone must deal. Pretending that things are okay only conceals the problem, it doesn't correct them. Sadly, though, many parents use the "conceal and compensate" method of handling inappropriate behavior. Meeting at the end of the day to trade scores will help to break down the walls of concealment and reveal the behavior that is in need of correction.

In an effort to help, I created a Behavior Score Card blackline master to use for the documentation piece of the daily interaction with the student and his parent. There are spaces for both the student--who always scores his day first--and the teacher to indicate, with a circle around it, the score they feel reflects the student's day. There's also a space for the teacher to write comments or reflections on the day as a running record.

That space could also be used for the teacher to record comments the student makes about his behavior. For example, if the teacher thought the score the day was a 1 or a 2, she could ask the student for reasons why the low score was given. And although most students will respond with the classic, "I don't know," they'll soon change that tune when they learn that denial is no longer an option. Within a week or so, both the teacher and the student will have an accurate record of what types of behavior are getting in the way of the student being responsible and productive. This kind of documentation, as I mentioned above, can have a real impact on the student's ability to improve.

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